Have you?

28 Oct

to be awakened from a deep winter slumber by your lips would be a what I’ve been dreaming of all summer long. I imagine you’ve understood that time is the ultimate test of a true love. The years pass, but have they really? would you still understand the way my
body moves towards yours under the night sky. you held my waist so tight ; i
wonder if you would remember the ratio of your hips to mine when we
would kiss or the volume of your whispers that danced from your mouth to my ears. beckoning me to come closer, stay a little longer. maybe the look in my eye will have crossed your mind; so many times we couldnt look away.



22 Jul

how is it i don’t feel you anymore, how can something that meant so much mean nothing now. how is is that I can still remember every line in your face but you don’t seem to remember mine.
I had laid the framework;the sweat built on my brow as I pillaged for you through salty storms. you promised the moon, and to be honest I gave you the celestial sphere but night just never came. I trusted the girl with constellations in her eyes.
I made love to you through a telephone wire; your voice grew weary as it traveled through mountains and under bridges to reach me. I held the phone close to my ear always thinking that some day you would pull me through. I’d fall onto your lap right there in your living room and you would ask me where I’ve been all this time. and I would say..just.out.of.reach.
I saw you everywhere but only in my mind; a picture never to be finished now. a smeared oil painting of your promises. held a yard sale to rid myself of this but couldn’t even pass it as art. I’d tell people you don’t have to like it you just have to consider it. It’s free.
but nobody wants a failed attempt.
the shell of you made it to me; the 50% that begged for answers that nobody had. the half of you that held contempt for happiness; I held a sign outside begging for smiles and leftover joy for our coin jar but nothing can fill a glass half full of sadness.
the other half was strewn about through your past never to be found again. An unfortunate emotional suicide; the soul that will never be set free. I knew the thousands of miles had distorted our reality. the love we assumed was simply hope dressed in costume; that monster in the mask has my heart in it’s pocket and it’s too late to reveal his real identity.
Every night I would look for the answers to this chewed up version of you and me.i don’t trust you; your eyes are clouds on my sunshine the rain on my love parade.
it was the coldest day in february and you knew all i wanted was the warmth of may.

wait for it :)

15 Jul

I walk in; she tells me she’s ready for me-
her fingers rub in circles on my scalp, I begin to relax…
she grabs a towel and dries me off.

she whispers.. “follow me”
sits me down in a leather chair, as she proceeded to circle me and follow me with her eyes-

her tits grazed me as she pulls tight on my hair; she wants to know how I like it so far..
I say, “keep going”

she finishes.
spins me around-
tells me to look in the mirror and see how I like it….

brings me to the cash register and says that will be 95.00 for your haircut & color Jessalyn; “would you like to schedule your next appointment?”
“Well; yes, yes I would.


3 Jul

its that deep barrel; the thunder in your gut, the agonizing blow to your already weak frame. the lyrics that cut through your soul. you know, the ones that weave in and out of the blank spaces we’ve saved up in our minds. reserved only; for the memories of time spent under the warm covers. the whispers in the night; the times that the world fell silent around us. your voice traveled through my white cotton sheets and fell upon my moonstruck ears.

you are my most painful tattoo, you’re the artist who held the gun and also my hand. you helped paint our lives in color and now in black and white.
this pain; it’s more than skin deep its driven even the strongest men to war within themselves. a penetrable battle, never to be won.the agonizing concern in the pit of your belly; the stirring of your thoughts; the synapses in your mind banging into one another running your blood cold. From where I stand your veins are bluer than the sea and icier than that one time…. you remember?
you waited for me in a cold winter snow; just to be sure I made it home.
I ran to you through white confetti and kissed your lips. hugged your neck and wrapped my legs around you. I said; this is home.
that’s all gone now; not to worry though; summers here and winters far behind us. the cold can’t reach me now.


28 May

dark angel with a twisted soul. regrets of nothing but more, and less time to do it in. your tethered mind wraps souls so tight there’s nothing left but emptiness of what once held the match to a kerosene soaked knife. where can I find the key to your caged mind, free what it is that makes you a sheep in the darkness but a monster in night. your tears fall so heavy they slice through my already leaking heart…lost love through the sewer drain. drenched in shit; you could still make me feel perpetually cleansed. I say no. to you. You will shove these emotions so deep down your throat the curves of your mouth won’t know the upward tick of a smile or the downward slant of a frown. you will only know that you once felt something.

we can’t blame our pasts for the way we crawl around this earth.


22 May

She was heavy- not in the sense of weight but in the way she told stories of her past and the way her life passed through her veins. Her pain hung on her shoulders but her happiness she wore on her face… Her cheeks pulled tight with a smile and her eyes wide with delight of life to come. Her hips round with every curve life had thrown at her, golden hair that touched her waist, the wind tousling her curls about her shoulders.
A fire danced from her soul, and honestly…. What was most beautiful, was the way she lit up from the inside.


10 Mar

Old friend.
How could you be so gone.
It’s only natural to miss our story.
Tears for tonight.